Mother of 4

I am new to this blogging thing and I actually have no idea what I am doing, so bear with me. But I do love to write. It is my passion, it brings me joy and serves as such a release for me. But as a mom, a mom of young kids there is no time to write. And when I say I have no time, I mean it. There is no exaggerating the amount of chaos that occurs in my day. Yesterday I was on my 6^th load of laundry and I just started to cry. For no reason. Or maybe there was a reason, but I didn't have time to actually figure it out because my main role at home is a referee.

So my plan for this blog is to write as often as I can. Which may be daily, may have to be weekly, and it may never happen after this one blog. But I am going to try. Because I am already feeling my stress level decrease.

Let me start with the basics. I have 3 kids at home, but I am a mom of 4. That’s a hard topic for me to explain. My sweet Brody was 10 months old when he tragically died in a choking accident. He was my first born. He was the sweetest soul, he truly brought joy to everyone he met. Especially to his mom and dad. We were a family, a very happy family. The day Brody died was the absolute worst day of my life. A day that 6 years later I can remember every single detail of. But it is not the day I try to remember in my head, it is the 10 months of pure joy he brought to me. He made me a mom, he showed me how true love really was. And he showed me how much I truly loved his dad. And I will always be a mom of 4. Not 3.

Bryson just turned 5. What a monumental birthday for him. He was so excited to show us how fast he is now that he is 5. How tall he is now that he is 5. How good his ninja skills are now that he is 5. He is the most rambunctious child I have ever met. He requires my constant attention. It is like a mad house when he is around. There is never a moment where he is still. He eats like a grown man. Insists on wrestling constantly. He has mad fit throwing skills, I have never seen anything like it. He loves his dad more than life, they are two peas in a pod. But amidst all that chaos, he has such a tender heart. He is so sensitive, and so loving. And did I mention that he is really funny?  He is the definition of a boy and gives me a run for my money every day.

Brystol is 3, but will turn 4 next month. And whew, these little toddlers should come with a warning label. She thinks she is 16. She told me the other day, “all I hear coming out of your mouth is blah blah blah!” Brystol is beautiful. Brystol is dramatic, she is sassy, and she is the girliest girl I have ever met. She can fit into any crowd, always so easy going (in public). She loves dance. And when I say loves dance, I mean she wakes up every day asking if it is “dance day!” Brystol is the best big sister, always helping with the baby. And she literally lets Bryson antagonize her all day, every day. And she just goes with it! She has no idea how easy she makes my life, and for that and so many more reasons, we adore her.

Brynlee is 6 months old. Aww my baby. It is so different when you know that it’s your last baby. Every stage she goes through makes me so much more emotional than the last. When she first smiled, cooed, laughed. And now she is sitting up all by herself, and eating baby food! It is all happening so fast!! Bryn is what I call her. The kids call her “Brynny!” She has a smile that will light up a room. She is constantly entertained by her crazy brother and sister. And man, does she love her momma! Everything Bryn does reminds me of Brody. She has all of his mannerisms and his sweet soul. It is funny how God works that out. Right when we needed it most.

So those are the reasons in a nutshell I spend most of my days so exhausted to even think straight. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love staying at home with the kids. It isn’t something that I have always had the opportunity to do. I have always worked up until I had Bryn. So this stay at home thing is new to me. I am still learning all the tricks to keeping my sanity. And still learning all the inexpensive play dates around town!

I feel like sometimes when Jamey gets home I am literally throwing kids at him. But I haven’t ever heard him complain about it. Ever. He is truly the hardest working man I know. He sometimes comes home to all 4 of us in our pajamas. And I don’t mean new clean pajamas because we are ready for bed, I mean the night before’s pajamas. And he sometimes has to bring take out home with him. Because although I have been home all day, dinner hadn’t even crossed my mind. But again, he never complains. I am not sure how I ended up with someone who adores us like he does, but even at our worst, he still does.

I feel like I could write forever, I forgot how much I love it! But I guess I should wrap it up, in 3 hours Bryn is going to wake up ready to eat and in 7 hours I am going to have to get our family of 5 dressed and ready to go to church - where we can’t wear pajamas or skip the make-up, and I actually have to brush Brystol’s hair. So for now I shall sleep, or at least try!